Apparently "Panic" is "Radiating" From India

...at least according to the New York Times' Jim Yardley. Intercultural conflicts between Muslims and the Bodo tribes of northeast India have led to an "exodus" of Muslims from the region, an issue exacerbated by wild rumors circulating around social media regarding planned attacks on Muslims. The situation is especially dire in the state of Assam, where 78 people have been killed and 300,000 have fled.

The closest I have come to experiencing this crisis myself was last weekend, when an expat acquaintance who was crashing on our couch for the day (for no apparent reason) looked up from his iPhone and said, "Whoa, dude...I think there's, like, some terrorist stuff going on." "Yeah, probably," I replied. "Hey, howza bout you get off our couch and go back to your own apartment?"

He didn't leave -- not then, at least -- and proceeded to read me the lurid details. Turns out the "terrorist stuff" was a riot in Azad Maidan in South Mumbai, which left two dead. The Azad Maidan violence was a response to the violence in Assam -- and police say the chaos was pre-planned.

I've found Mumbai to be a very safe city for the average pedestrian at any time of day (except for the occasional "pariah dog" ruffin' at you). This sort of report reminds me there is still a ton of political and cultural contexts I have to fully understand before forming my ultimate opinions on this country.

On that note...I need to find a more consistent source of India news besides the New York Times and the occasional Business Insider slideshow. Any suggestions? Besides the actual Mumbai newspapers...

Christopher Hitchens: Destroying Indian Bloggers from Beyond the Grave

I always gag a bit whenever I read some fawning New York Times elegy on a  literary figure they deem to be "indispensable"...like their recent obituary on Gore Vidal. Unfortunate, because I'm sure I'd love Mr. Vidal's work as countless other have, but I always feel like with each successive death of a "last of a breed," as the Grey Lady termed Vidal, the grizzled Times' newsmen are really lamenting the death of their industry.

Despite my aversion to self-serious, self-destructive essayists, I still surprised myself by how long I held out on reading any Christopher Hitchens. Must've been a particularly lachrymose Times' obituary, that one. Regardless, I was happy to find a 1997 Vanity Fair essay of his, "There'll Always Be an India," which comments on pretty much everything, say, a blog on India could cover...only in essay form!

Among other epic declarations in the piece, Hitchens notes: "Land of Contrasts. I challenge you to show me the Indian guidebook or travel piece that does not resort to this dismal cliche."

Well...uhhh...there goes the subject of my next post...

Ooohhh you're just so erudite and witty, aren't you...

Hitchens also explains why Coca-Cola's relationship with India is even more complicated then I thought -- turns out the Indian government demanded the secret Coke formula in the late 1970s. Coca-Cola "denounced India as a basket case" and stopped doing business in the country until the 1990s.

I highly suggest reading this piece, for more then just the pithy asides -- he packs in a lot of info, and a lot of reporting. Not bad for a guy who was probably wasted when he wrote it. 

"The Dark Knight Rises" is Visual Dank Chronic

Some friends and I saw "The Dark Knight Rises" last night. That sh** is tightttttttttttt. Even with its grim, post-9/11 vision of NYC/Gotham, the movie still made me miss the good ol' US of A.

All we have over here is "Punjabi Batman"

After the negative experience at "The Amazing Spiderman," we opted for the regular screen over iMax -- even though Manohla Dargis' New York Times review insisted that iMax is "the way to see the film." Well, an Indian "regular" screen is pretty darn big as it turns out, so sucks to your suggestion, Ms. Dargis.

The movie also gave me my own visions of big screen glory -- a dream that is conveniently easy to manifest here in Mumbai, where a number of my associates and roommates are already "acting" (re: appearing in the background) of major Bollywood films and commercials. The pay is also not too shabby, considering your usually just asked to dance around or stare at the protagonist in awe...half-a-days work can net you a few thousand dollars rupees.

Now that's some free enterprise that even Bane could support!

Peering Over Poverty

Before I came to Mumbai, I knew I would see poverty. I just didn't know it would be shoved in my face so brazenly.

That's a photo my friend took of an impoverished lil' Mumbaikar peeking in our taxi window, begging for a spare rupee. Fortunately, I was warned multiple times as soon as I arrived: don't give money to beggars. The effect is apparently like that South Park episode where Stan Marsh is mobbed by homeless people after he gives a nickel to one vagabond.

The poverty I've seen here mainly manifests itself in the pollution and general lack of hygiene in certain neighborhoods -- adults relieving themselves in the streets, children walking around naked, cardboard shanty towns, etc. And I haven't even visited Dharavi, in northern Mumbai, where leopards from the nearby Sanjay Ghandi National Park apparently 'nom on village children regularly.

Mumbai also has a ton of opulence and "new money" as well, and I still haven't come to terms with my proximity to some truly horrible human living conditions. Will of course keep you all updated on this new-found humanitarianism as it develops. This whole "sympathy" thing is all new to me...

Suggest Unto Me Your Biographies

This blog just passed the venerable 50+ views mark. I'm going to ball-park that only 25 of those were me, so either my half-assed attempts at SEO maximization are working and forcing people to stumble upon "Of Bombay and B.Doyle," or there is a burgeoning market for content with regards to media critiques and avant garde gangsta hip-hop. 

So, let's interact: I need biographies to read. As previously mentioned, I just finished Neil Gabler's Walt Disney biography, and am currently in the midst of Walter Isaacson's Steve Jobs biography. Shoot me a suggestion of a biography about an epic personality or epoch-defining businessman, and I'll friend you on Facebook! Oh, the private pictures of mine you could view.

But seriously, biography suggestions. I wants them. Now. This Mumbai heat makes "epic" books the only kind worth sitting down and reading.

Above: Mickey Mouse, the product of a tortured, perfectionist soul, according to Neil Gabler.