How do you say "Showtime Lakers" in Hindi?

The only time I've really gotten into basketball the past few years is during playoff seasons...the rest of the time, I generally check up on box scores a few times a month, tops, and otherwise ignore my once beloved NBA. But there's something about graduating college and moving to a foreign land that has left me searching for outlets of Americanism. Thus, I think it's fate that the Lakers -- a team I was once so obsessed with that I baked Kobe Bryant a birthday cake -- have made a few key off-season moves and are suddenly the most badazz team in the League. 

Most badazz...and classiest!

I was raving about the Dwight Howard pick-up this morning to my roommates, before stopping mid-sentence: "You guys don't watch basketball, do you?" Guess it's ironic that my sudden rejuvenation of basketball fan-dom intersects the exact moment I decide to move to a country where the weird kids watch basketball and the cool kids play cricket. Whatev. 

The plan at this point is to turn one of my roommates into a Celtics fan, then slowly degrade his ego at the season goes on. Will keep you all updated on this pet project.

Christopher Hitchens: Destroying Indian Bloggers from Beyond the Grave

I always gag a bit whenever I read some fawning New York Times elegy on a  literary figure they deem to be "indispensable"...like their recent obituary on Gore Vidal. Unfortunate, because I'm sure I'd love Mr. Vidal's work as countless other have, but I always feel like with each successive death of a "last of a breed," as the Grey Lady termed Vidal, the grizzled Times' newsmen are really lamenting the death of their industry.

Despite my aversion to self-serious, self-destructive essayists, I still surprised myself by how long I held out on reading any Christopher Hitchens. Must've been a particularly lachrymose Times' obituary, that one. Regardless, I was happy to find a 1997 Vanity Fair essay of his, "There'll Always Be an India," which comments on pretty much everything, say, a blog on India could cover...only in essay form!

Among other epic declarations in the piece, Hitchens notes: "Land of Contrasts. I challenge you to show me the Indian guidebook or travel piece that does not resort to this dismal cliche."

Well...uhhh...there goes the subject of my next post...

Ooohhh you're just so erudite and witty, aren't you...

Hitchens also explains why Coca-Cola's relationship with India is even more complicated then I thought -- turns out the Indian government demanded the secret Coke formula in the late 1970s. Coca-Cola "denounced India as a basket case" and stopped doing business in the country until the 1990s.

I highly suggest reading this piece, for more then just the pithy asides -- he packs in a lot of info, and a lot of reporting. Not bad for a guy who was probably wasted when he wrote it. 

Indian 1% Put the American 1% to Shame

Last weekend, driving through South Bombay after dinner, one of my friends pointed out the 27-story personal tower of Mukesh Ambani. He noted that the tower's amenities included several floors serving as car showrooms, and a massive ice skating rink serving as another floor. I think I may have muttered something then about "wasteful" or "insensitive," but what I meant to say was "Boss-status!" and then pretend I'm shooting a basketball, the international sign for "ballin'."

Because if there's one thing this country appreciates, it's tasteful moderation.

Of course, this is Mumbai, so right outside the tower there were decaying storefronts and a few beggars wandering around. Even in the relatively posh South Bombay, I took the little trappings of destitution to be par for the course. 

I was thus happy to see a fairly thoughtful breakdown of why India's nicest neighborhoods are, like, not really that nice in the Wall Street Journal today. Hint: It's not because the rich aren't rich enough. 

"The contrast between the popping champagne corks inside and the filth outside is striking. Again, the simple economics of incentives explains why. Many of the wealthy diners who frequent these establishments pull right up to the entrance, and so don't need to worry about the filth outside," writes Rupa Subramanya, referring to upscale restaurants in midtown Mumbai located in shoddy neighborhoods.

Basically, Subramanya contends that Mumbai's rich have no emotional stake in their neighborhoods, since it doesn't cost much to hire a 24/7 driver and roll through the fecal-filled streets in a tinted-window Escalade, sipping mineral water and breathing circulated air imported from the Himalayas. She argues that the Indian aristocrats take care of the public services that matter to them -- electricity, for instance -- and as long as the infrastructural absurdities of the outside world don't impede on their personal space, they feel no civic duty to demand improvements. Even if their "personal space" happens to be a 27-story mega-apartment.

Fair enough -- but I still don't think the article gets to the core of why Mumbai's wealthy don't demand infrastructural and design improvements to their neighborhoods at large. As Subramanya herself points out, in places like the U.S., there is a clear relationship between real estate quality and the quality of the surrounding sidewalks, parks, public schools, etc. If you were to build a mansion in the middle of the Bronx, for instance, you'd of course be hard-pressed to make a profit, because the poor quality of the surrounding houses and public services directly affects the value of the house. Expensive houses are in expensive neighborhoods, ipso facto.

In India, I would be very curious to see how "neighborhood quality" affects house valuation. The wealthy are of course "clustered" here as in other places -- it's not like you'll find a personal showroom in the middle of Dharavi. But still, if I built a 27-story tower for myself, I'd want to make damn sure my neighborhood is pristine, classy and ideally not near any shanty-towns. I don't know if it's a lack of civic duty, or if its just impossible to distance yourself from the poverty here, but I'd certainly like to find out.

On that note, any Indian billionaires want to hang out this weekend?

Drug Makers: "Fuck this, we're going to India."

At my job recently, I've been researching certain pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies investments in emerging markets -- particularly Brazil, India and China -- and hot dog if these companies aren't licking their chops at the opportunities. Pricing pressures in the U.S. and Europe means that drug companies are going to increasingly rely on the exploding middle classes of BRIC countries to drive sales. Spending on drugs are going to double in emerging markets in the next five years, according to the New York Times - now that's a win/win for drug companies and B.Doyle. Oh yea, and for India.

Above: India and pharmaceutical companies, meeting for the first time. 

Needless, I'm going to walk to work with a little extra pep in my step tomorrow. Unless it's monsooning again...in that case I'll tell the rickshaw driver to sing that lil' Hindi diddy extra loud, for ol' B.Doyle. Fuck ya.

Coca-Cola: Fighting the Good Fight

As a follower of business, I'm a fan of Coca-Cola. Have been ever since freshman year of high school, when I wrote my World History final paper on why the invention of Coca-Cola was the most important development in human history.

So of course, I'm happy to hear that Coca-Cola is planning a fairly aggressive expansion of operations in my current homeland, according to the Wall Street Journal.

According to the article, Coca-Cola accounts for 60% of soft drink revenues in India, compared to PepsiCo's 37%. However, in my little slice of Mumbai, I've noticed it is much easier to find Pepsi products -- in particular "Mirinda," a tart little orange soda, and Pepsi itself -- then Coke. I've almost started to miss that classic red logo. And the actual drink. 'Cuz Pepsi blows.

Here's to you, Coca-Cola! Ignore Mayor Bloomberg and his Big Brother-esque soda policies...it's just you and me.