Don't Hurt 'Em, ScHoolboy Q

A while back I labeled The Buff Nerds crew as possibly the hippest up-and-comers out of the West Coast. I stand by my original sentiment, but if/when the 'Nerds blow up, they're going to have to compete with the Black Hippies out of Los Angeles...undeniably the reigning Kings of the West, and still on the come-up themselves.Case in point: ScHoolboy Q's new video, which is the chillest thing I've seen or heard all summer.

Besides his sick music, another reason I love Q is his use of the "capital H" aesthetic. I don't know when rappers started to love capitalizing -- or not capitalizing -- certain letters in their names as part of their swag, but I think Kid Cudi -- or KiD CuDi -- is a big reason behind it. Now we've got RiFF RaFF with all lowercase vowels in his name and music video titles, as well as ScHoolboy with his "H's." I've been thinking of changing my electronic signature to b.dOylE...thoughts?

Olympics in India

Friday night's Olympics opening ceremony happened to coincide with a bout of food poisoning -- or whatever the hell makes you nauseous for 48 hours straight without actually throwing up. I haven't missed an opening ceremony since 1992 -- e.g. before I was conscious of the "Olympics" -- so I tried my best to stay awake, but at 12:30 a.m. nothing remotely opening ceremony-esque was showing up on the live feed, so I left my crowd of multicultural comrades in the living room and schlepped to bed. Around 5 a.m, my roommate opened the bedroom door, plopped down on his floor mattress and fell asleep. Apparently blinding hallway light and unmistakable party sounds from the living room don't bother sleeping East Africans, but I -- with my high-and-mighty bed frame and Western standards -- was immediately jarred awake.

This whole post might be a passive-aggressive jab at my roommate, were it not for the fact that his eccentric sleeping habits allowed me to hear the unmistakable sounds of the Olympic opening ceremony from the living room. Thanks, bro!

So, with a twinkle in my eye and the spirit of the Games in my heart, I skipped down the hallway and found a pack of roommates, friends and associates watching the London march of athletes on a moderately-sized computer screen. I squeezed in between one roommate from Peru and another associate from Egypt on the couch, and commenced the gossiping and screen-shouting.

Watching the opening ceremony certainly made me proud to be American, particularly when comparing team strengths and weaknesses with my internationally diverse array of  comrades. "Oh, how many athletes does Serbia have this year? 115? Ya, America has 529, soooo....y'knowwwww..."

Really though, I was pretty lucky to be able to watch an Olympics ceremony with an incredibly diverse crew. Hearing other country's takes on the Games was interesting to say the least. Among other conclusions, I've deduced that pretty much the only time anyone in the world watches swimming is during the Olympics.

Now if I can just get my roommates to watch some Team USA basketball with me, I can really get an ego boost...

Go forth, grand athletes! Make America proud!

Back off, Carina Chocano!

About a week ago, Carina Chocano -- a "self-employed" sort of "freelance writer," if her LinkedIn is to be believed -- wrote a tad-too-touchy piece in the New York Times about Pinterest, Tumblr, and general user-generated content aggregation websites. Only she calls these websites "longing machines," and concludes with an ever-so-melancholy note that the sites define "the life we think we were meant to have but don’t, the people we think we should be but aren’t."

By extension of Chocano's theory, my time spent curating on "The Fancy" is a fruitless pathological pursuit to fool myself into thinking I'm a man of "taste" and "style."

Pshawww...act like you have this kind of taste, Carina.

Personally, I think Carina's essay is about as valid as any journalist cum philosopher can churn out when applying analytical skills learned in their college comparative literature classes to modern technology. RE: It's all wish-wash. Because you're right, Ms. Carina: "People don’t post stuff because they wish they owned it, but because they think they are it, and they long to be understood..." Sounds kind of like the supposedly intellectually untouchable Jonathan Franzen telling the Kenyon College Class of 2011 that the "telos of techne is to replace a natural world that’s indifferent to our wishes ... with a world so responsive to our wishes as to be, effectively, a mere extension of the self." Thanks for the advice, J. Franz! I'll be sure to avoid modern technology from now on!

Sure, people use online profiles -- even Pinterest portfolios consisting entirely of images -- to define how they want to be viewed by the world. But I think anyone who has ever viewed a Facebook profile filled with "deep" quotations and ostentatiously heart-felt status updates can see that these profiles act as more then just, y'know, profiles -- their an outlet for self-expression, self-realization and social understanding. So Ms. Chocano, I'm here to tell you: your behind the times, but not in your use of technology. Your antiquated in your realization that technology is deeply entwined with people's emotions and understanding of themselves. Heck, David Foster Wallace hit on the soul-churning isolating effect of technology in his 2005 Kenyon Commencement address. (On another note: those Kenyon College grads must really be a happy bunch...)

Basically, I find these overly-intellectual technology pieces at once embarrassing (for the writer) and confusing. What exactly does Carina want me to do, once I acknowledge that my "Fancy" portfolio is a web of self-deceit? Stop looking at "Vans California Era Washed Paisley" and "Cheesecake-stuffed strawberries?" Cuz if that's what you think I'll do, Ms. Chocano, then you don't know B.Doyle...

Damn those are sexy...

"The Dark Knight Rises" is Visual Dank Chronic

Some friends and I saw "The Dark Knight Rises" last night. That sh** is tightttttttttttt. Even with its grim, post-9/11 vision of NYC/Gotham, the movie still made me miss the good ol' US of A.

All we have over here is "Punjabi Batman"

After the negative experience at "The Amazing Spiderman," we opted for the regular screen over iMax -- even though Manohla Dargis' New York Times review insisted that iMax is "the way to see the film." Well, an Indian "regular" screen is pretty darn big as it turns out, so sucks to your suggestion, Ms. Dargis.

The movie also gave me my own visions of big screen glory -- a dream that is conveniently easy to manifest here in Mumbai, where a number of my associates and roommates are already "acting" (re: appearing in the background) of major Bollywood films and commercials. The pay is also not too shabby, considering your usually just asked to dance around or stare at the protagonist in awe...half-a-days work can net you a few thousand dollars rupees.

Now that's some free enterprise that even Bane could support!

Indian 1% Put the American 1% to Shame

Last weekend, driving through South Bombay after dinner, one of my friends pointed out the 27-story personal tower of Mukesh Ambani. He noted that the tower's amenities included several floors serving as car showrooms, and a massive ice skating rink serving as another floor. I think I may have muttered something then about "wasteful" or "insensitive," but what I meant to say was "Boss-status!" and then pretend I'm shooting a basketball, the international sign for "ballin'."

Because if there's one thing this country appreciates, it's tasteful moderation.

Of course, this is Mumbai, so right outside the tower there were decaying storefronts and a few beggars wandering around. Even in the relatively posh South Bombay, I took the little trappings of destitution to be par for the course. 

I was thus happy to see a fairly thoughtful breakdown of why India's nicest neighborhoods are, like, not really that nice in the Wall Street Journal today. Hint: It's not because the rich aren't rich enough. 

"The contrast between the popping champagne corks inside and the filth outside is striking. Again, the simple economics of incentives explains why. Many of the wealthy diners who frequent these establishments pull right up to the entrance, and so don't need to worry about the filth outside," writes Rupa Subramanya, referring to upscale restaurants in midtown Mumbai located in shoddy neighborhoods.

Basically, Subramanya contends that Mumbai's rich have no emotional stake in their neighborhoods, since it doesn't cost much to hire a 24/7 driver and roll through the fecal-filled streets in a tinted-window Escalade, sipping mineral water and breathing circulated air imported from the Himalayas. She argues that the Indian aristocrats take care of the public services that matter to them -- electricity, for instance -- and as long as the infrastructural absurdities of the outside world don't impede on their personal space, they feel no civic duty to demand improvements. Even if their "personal space" happens to be a 27-story mega-apartment.

Fair enough -- but I still don't think the article gets to the core of why Mumbai's wealthy don't demand infrastructural and design improvements to their neighborhoods at large. As Subramanya herself points out, in places like the U.S., there is a clear relationship between real estate quality and the quality of the surrounding sidewalks, parks, public schools, etc. If you were to build a mansion in the middle of the Bronx, for instance, you'd of course be hard-pressed to make a profit, because the poor quality of the surrounding houses and public services directly affects the value of the house. Expensive houses are in expensive neighborhoods, ipso facto.

In India, I would be very curious to see how "neighborhood quality" affects house valuation. The wealthy are of course "clustered" here as in other places -- it's not like you'll find a personal showroom in the middle of Dharavi. But still, if I built a 27-story tower for myself, I'd want to make damn sure my neighborhood is pristine, classy and ideally not near any shanty-towns. I don't know if it's a lack of civic duty, or if its just impossible to distance yourself from the poverty here, but I'd certainly like to find out.

On that note, any Indian billionaires want to hang out this weekend?

Guar: The Little Bean That Could

Of all the national policy issues that campus activists continually rallied around during my four years of college, hydrofracking was probably the most incendiary. Perhaps it was because I went to school in central New York...home to layers upon layers of precious, precious shale oil. Oil best obtained by hydrofracking, of course, although there's a slew of water pollution and environmental degradation issues that come with the territory. You can see some of the strong reactions against fracking in the video below, which I helped produce:

I really liked the activists in the videos above. They were chill. But that doesn't mean I'm about to leap behind every "bleeding-heart smellfare" program -- or "save the environment" mumbo jumbo -- they support.

Thus, I'd be interested to see how some Wavy Gravy's react to this recent New York Times' article, which extols the financial benefits of guar bean production for poor northwest Indian farmers. Yeah, guar beans...which are a crucial ingredient in HYDROFRACKING!

Indeed, this lil' guy's price has skyrocketed in the past few months because of energy companies' increasing demand -- and the fact that the bean is in limited supply and only grows in particularly arid, desert-like climates.

And these farmers are making a killing on guar. Says one Sohan Singh, "Now...we have a house made of stone."

iT'S your choice, activists! Save the Indian farmers or save the environment! You can't have both!

But on the real....this is a tricky economic policy issue (not to mention environmental...and social...), and showcases how important it is to have export diversity in an economy. In the guar-producing parts of Rajasthan, the economy depends primarily on agriculture -- a relatively fickle business, especially when the farmers there are not exactly using high-technology, high-yield techniques. It's like relying on the Rain Gods to supply your salary every year.

That doesn't mean I'm not rooting for them; go 'head, Mr. Singh! Milk them energy companies for all their worth!

Drug Makers: "Fuck this, we're going to India."

At my job recently, I've been researching certain pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies investments in emerging markets -- particularly Brazil, India and China -- and hot dog if these companies aren't licking their chops at the opportunities. Pricing pressures in the U.S. and Europe means that drug companies are going to increasingly rely on the exploding middle classes of BRIC countries to drive sales. Spending on drugs are going to double in emerging markets in the next five years, according to the New York Times - now that's a win/win for drug companies and B.Doyle. Oh yea, and for India.

Above: India and pharmaceutical companies, meeting for the first time. 

Needless, I'm going to walk to work with a little extra pep in my step tomorrow. Unless it's monsooning again...in that case I'll tell the rickshaw driver to sing that lil' Hindi diddy extra loud, for ol' B.Doyle. Fuck ya.

Coca-Cola: Fighting the Good Fight

As a follower of business, I'm a fan of Coca-Cola. Have been ever since freshman year of high school, when I wrote my World History final paper on why the invention of Coca-Cola was the most important development in human history.

So of course, I'm happy to hear that Coca-Cola is planning a fairly aggressive expansion of operations in my current homeland, according to the Wall Street Journal.

According to the article, Coca-Cola accounts for 60% of soft drink revenues in India, compared to PepsiCo's 37%. However, in my little slice of Mumbai, I've noticed it is much easier to find Pepsi products -- in particular "Mirinda," a tart little orange soda, and Pepsi itself -- then Coke. I've almost started to miss that classic red logo. And the actual drink. 'Cuz Pepsi blows.

Here's to you, Coca-Cola! Ignore Mayor Bloomberg and his Big Brother-esque soda policies...it's just you and me.

Frank Ocean...You Rule...

Frank Ocean...*sighhhhhhh* You first got my attention with Nostalgia, Ultra. More just the name and the mixtape cover...I wasn't really quite as much into the music at that point...but I could tell right away that you were a hip cat. Then I heard "Thinking About You." Arguably the theme song of senior year, my friend.

With "Channel Orange" -- currently everyone's go-to topic on Twitter -- it seems like you've really put yourself on the mainstream map. Or maybe I'm just overwhelmed by all the pre-album "coming-out-of-the-closet" buzz? A savvy move, to be sure...a decision that will surely move as many records as it has moved hearts.

Regardless, it's clear you're on your new-new with the album...this "Forrest Gump" song is my current shiznit.  I wouldn't have guessed I would ever like -- let alone love -- a song about man-on-man relationships. You are truly an innovator. Congratulations.

India in the News...That's a First...

The New York Times ran an interesting -- if incomplete -- timeline of India's modern economic history as told through magazine covers from the past 10 years. More accurately framed, this is a history of the mainstream media's coverage of India's booming decade.

Basically, according to this timeline, BusinessWeek first beguiled the general public with tales of a sexy, brown-skinned "vanguard of one of the biggest mind meld's in history," right before Wired warned everyone that these brilliant young computer whizzes were going to take our jobs...then a few more random stories about how great and liberal India was becoming...then a 2007 BusinessWeek piece about how India's horrible infrastructure and overpopulation may stunt growth...and going right up to The Economist's 2010 cover of a swiftly running tiger, representing India's potential outpacing of Chinese economic growth. Mee-yow, Economist!

The piece came on the heels of the Time cover labeling Indian Prime Minister Monmohan Singh "The Underachiever." A far cry from the October 27, 1947 cover of Time where Vishnu made her U.S. debut...or something....

Of all the publications, I have to say that the 2007 BusinessWeek article tells the story the best. That elephant on the cover is a pretty apt metaphor for India's growing pains...that poor, poor elephant. Yes, there is an awesome amount of entrepreneurship, rising education and general brilliance in India, but before they eclipse Silicon Valley they're going to need to fix some potholes. Literally. I can't count how many times I bump my head in the autorickshaw on the way to work.

Peering Over Poverty

Before I came to Mumbai, I knew I would see poverty. I just didn't know it would be shoved in my face so brazenly.

That's a photo my friend took of an impoverished lil' Mumbaikar peeking in our taxi window, begging for a spare rupee. Fortunately, I was warned multiple times as soon as I arrived: don't give money to beggars. The effect is apparently like that South Park episode where Stan Marsh is mobbed by homeless people after he gives a nickel to one vagabond.

The poverty I've seen here mainly manifests itself in the pollution and general lack of hygiene in certain neighborhoods -- adults relieving themselves in the streets, children walking around naked, cardboard shanty towns, etc. And I haven't even visited Dharavi, in northern Mumbai, where leopards from the nearby Sanjay Ghandi National Park apparently 'nom on village children regularly.

Mumbai also has a ton of opulence and "new money" as well, and I still haven't come to terms with my proximity to some truly horrible human living conditions. Will of course keep you all updated on this new-found humanitarianism as it develops. This whole "sympathy" thing is all new to me...

Tha Swiss Connection

On my flight to Mumbai, I had a two hour layover in Switzerland. They were two of the cleanest, most pleasant hours of my life. I indulged in some deliciously nutty authentic Swiss chocolate from an airport vendor, explored the sleek, somewhat Euro-hipster designed airport -- bathroom doors were constructed of polished metal -- and admired the view of the mountains from the airport bay windows. 

The flight over to Mumbai on Swiss Air was equally delightful -- the vegetarian pizza they served was top-notch, and even the seats in the economy-section were roomy and comfortable. 

So landing in Mumbai and stepping off the squeaky-clean Swiss Air jet into a wave of heat and curry smell was not the most desirable contrast.

Above: If I could live on that jet, I would.

Since my all-too-short time in Europe, I have vowed to go back there as soon as feasibly possible and plan a good ol' fashioned EuroTrip. For me, this is actually a fairly big step forward: before this year, I was truthfully baffled whenever someone listed "traveling" as one of their favorite hobbies. But it's amazing what two hours near the Swiss Alps can do to a person's psyche. 

However, before I experience Europe I still have pretty much every landmark in Mumbai alone to visit. Yeah, this past month hasn't quite brought me outside of a ten-mile radius. 

In the meantime, I've been watching this video to get me pumped up about traveling in general. WE NO SPEAK HINDI!

Monsoon Season!

The first time I heard the term "monsoon" was in the 1996 movie "Jumanji." Since then, I have associated monsoons with Robin Williams fighting crocodiles.

So when I learned that Mumbai was host to a four-month long monsoon season every year, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Would my flat be flooded frequently? Would I have to swim to work? Should I pack my heavy-duty crocodile-killin' machete just in case?

As it turns out, flats do get flooded frequently, and yes, getting to work may be impossible once in a while unless I have a canoe. So far the crocodiles don't seem likely, although giant rats are a common sight. Incidentally, however, Mumbai is experiencing a relatively dry monsoon season so far. I couldn't be happier to only have to face two or three short bursts of rain a day, but according to the Wall Street Journal, this is a problem for North Indian farmers who rely on the monsoon rains to help produce crop yields.

If I travel to North India (hopefully soon) then I may be able to get a better appreciation of the largely agricultural-dependent economies of that region. However, right now, it's hard not to be happy that I arrived here conveniently in one of the driest monsoon seasons in years.

Here's to dry monsoon seasons and no crocodiles!

Above: Me, in my living room last week. #mylifeisJumanji

Who the Hell Are The BuffNerds?

While surfing the Internet in January during Winter Break, as I was wont to do, I came upon this little gem of a music video by two intriguing artists, K.i.D. and Futuristic:

 The music was smooth and hip, yet avant-garde. RaP GaME Salvador Dali, if you will.

Since that time, my Youtube feed has provided me a steady stream of "BuffNerds" videos, and my final verdict is that these guys are next to blow. They're whole vibe is total West Coast cool -- the color-drenched videography, the loose rapping style, the names. My personal favorite of the crew is K.i.D., but you can watch this crew video below and decide for yourself.

Just remember: I was the first guy in India to put on for the 'Nerds.

Amurica! F*** Yeah!

Happy Independence Day, everyone! People at work today were giving me handshakes and backslaps in respect to the good ol' US of A. Even my comrades from Eastern Europe granted me the indulgence of slamming the table and shouting "America!" at lunch.  I also made a fool of myself when a Slovenian girl offered me cake, and I knowingly chuckled "Aaah, for Independence Day?" It was actually for her birthday.

But dammit, I won't apologize for my patriotism! Everyone shoot off some fireworks for me!

Indian Rupee at Seven-Week High; "The Amazing Spiderman" is Dubious; And Other News

This was a cray cray week; I saw "The Amazing Spiderman" in iMax 3D. That night was significant because it also marked my first time truly getting "caught" in an Indian monsoon. We were stuck for about an hour in a small Wadala back-alley market -- with no electricity -- as the streets got more and more flooded and the imposing Indian locals inched creepily close.

But perhaps even more important: the Indian rupee is rebounding! According to the Wall Street Journal, it reached a seven-week high against the U.S. dollar yesterday. Now if only if the dollar can sink below that 53.79 rupees mark, I can REALLY celebrate this Fourth of July!

Oh yeah, by the way, the Amazing Spiderman was WeakSauce Malloy. I'm pretty sure they just rummaged through Sam Raimi's office trashbin for the storyline. My good friend Hipster Spiderman would be ashamed.